i love both you and the german language way too much
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
Montag, Mai 31, 2004
ay me. by last night/this morning i was beginning to find conversing with a few dear and beloved but occasionally difficult-to-communicate-with ctyers trying, but five minutes after i got home, mom and dad became completely unbearable. i guess i feel they're obligated to listen to stuppid and unimportant stuff that i say, whereas with teenagers or non family members i'm willing to let people ignore or not notice me unless/until i have something i particularly care about saying. it's not ENTIRELY me demanding abnormal attention from them, though...dad does have seriously lacking social/conversational skills in some areas. and interruptions in a conversation among three are much less inevitable than in a large group.
but reunion was ridiculously fun. and merry came, and i definitely shouldn't let her evade me for nearly a year again because i love her way to much. and the weekend was wonderful. and it reminded me of a few things i need to think about, and gave me a few previously unidentified things to need to think about, and made me really happy and a little bit sick. there was also an unusually high amount of theological/scriptural discussion, which i enjoyed. perhaps i'll be able to find a way to work some religious studies courses into my life next year, after all. and spinning was, as spinning often is, superturboaffengeil
i sustained four minor injuries, but life is so good.
11:24 PM
Freitag, Mai 28, 2004
well, nalgene number eight is gone. i had it for seven months, and they were a very eventful, difficult, and exciting seven months. and this was definitely the prettiest nalgene i've had. and it had my skidmore sweatshirt string tied to it. and i was beginning to think i might be over the whole water-bottle-losing thing. sad sad sad.
i made this horrendously strange-looking and impractical harness for bubba, which should enable me to carry it around, full, on my shoulder for a while.
mom (upon seeing the bubba harness): are you sure you couldn't stop by ems tomorrow morning and pick up a new nalgene?
me: *horrified* mommy! *clutches and pets bubba keg* bubba and i need time to grieve as a family!
12:08 AM
Donnerstag, Mai 27, 2004
argh. crap. super ultra mega-crap! i think i left my nalgene at shelton yesterdaaaaaaaay *whines* nooooooo!
2:18 PM
i went out in the thunderstorm and frolicked/sang/lay on the ground for like 40 minutes. I love storms. it wasnt a particularly impressive one, and wasn't too near by (this being a large part of why i wasn't afraid to go out and frolick in it), but it was still fun.
visiting the mormon temple yesterday was weird but kind of cool. i liked the room that was supposed to represent earth and growing in knowledge of God. hermana elwood was kind of creepy but also fascinating.
I've been feeling older than i've ever been recently, and i can't decide if i like it. it seems to me like growing up, in general, means that stuff gets easier and less overwhelming, but less fun. not sure if i want to stand by that.
all of the stuff that's troubling our friends makes me sad, and i'm glad to be somewhat removed from it. it seems like a lot of tension is school-related, which i think is doubly sad, cuz school and college and such things are so not worth worrying and fighting about. I miss a lot of people but i'm kind of enjoying not seeing everyone all the time. the last month or so of school is always really crazy, and i feel like loving and slightly missing people is better than being sick of them. It does suck that my primary mode is to be missing someone, but it's been that way for quite a few years so *shrug*.
ich LIEBE euch.
2:43 AM
Montag, Mai 24, 2004
you know what i love? ups tracking. my veganessentials package has been from wisconsin to illinois and is, as of 7:54 tonight, in Chelmsford Massachusetts. somehow that makes me happy.
11:08 PM
Tricia is coming to my house July 23-25! please join me in a moment of rejoicing. *rejoices* *is joined by you* thank you.
9:55 PM
Sonntag, Mai 23, 2004
that must have been the longest four-miler of my career. ah well, running nausea and water cramps happen to the best of us, no? and it was still fun, if a wee bit on the hot side.
4:46 PM
you would not believe how red my cheeks are right now. it's not even hot down here...silly cheeks. no seriously, it's ridiculous. they're SO RED. i'm working on a skirt (which is looking like it will suck, as of now...if it does i can always take it apart and use the fabric for something else, cuz it's the really nifty sheerish white fabric with the weird gold embroidery and i don't want to waste it), and every time i go to look at something about it in the mirror my nearly purplish red cheeks freak me out. BE LESS RED. yeah, sorry to go on on such an odd subject, but it's really quite dramatic.
shoe shopping with jenny reminded me why i haven't gone shopping for shoes (running shoes don't count) since freshman year. oh wait, i've been re-buying the same pair of running shoes since freshman year, too...i guess i went shopping for my flats earlier this year. shoe shopping at runners' roost is fun, because they carry through size 12. i also bought my new purse shoes recently, but they're something i've known i wanted for years and haven't bothered to seek out...the ones i saw in gap the other day were just cheap enough and kind of fitted a little, so i got them. that's not shoe shopping.
and so you ask me...what are purse shoes?
purse shoes, my friend, are my newest brilliant idea. they are a pair of very very thin-soled flip flops that, you guessed it, fit in my purse. as a fan of barefootedness, i have long feared being turned away from various establishments if i dared to venture too far from home without my feet covered. now, if i encounter such a problem, i have only to open my purse and whip out my convenient little shoelets! besides, i always like to feel that my purse is equipped for any possible emergency, and now that includes the breaking, losing, forgetting, or theft (it could happen) of a shoe. three cheers for purse shoes!
yesterday i was walking downtown and i got a flashback to the night we were at the yankee doodle fair last year and we spun the apple (or maybe it was a strawberry?) three times and noah couldn't handle the intensity and i got that enourmous blister on my hand and couldn't use it for like a week. damn that was fun. oh i just remembered that after when we were walking to starbucks noah was doing the silly walk, like, from the ministry thereof. i don't think that compensates for being too weak for spin the apple, though. ...anyway, it just made me really happy to think of one age-old joy of summer that isn't being taken away from me this year. unless of course both the yankee doodle fair and the italian festival decide to hate me and not have any sort of self-spinning 'kiddie' ride. that's happened before. true awesomeness would be if they both had it. maybe i should get gloves like people wear for driving...that way i could get in multiple days of spinning without fear of blisters... :p i remember last year saying that i should train for it or some such...i can't think what arm muscles you use for that, though...abs, certainly, and...i guess the first part of the motion is triceps and maybe shoulders, and then the second part is back and biceps. abs are definitely where the improvement's to be made, though...sitting up is the biggest spinny-apple challenge.
yeah, that sounds minorly scary and maybe a little sad, but i take a lot of joy from intense spinning. if you've never been on spin the apple with me, you should try it.
1:44 AM
Freitag, Mai 21, 2004
track meetlet today was good. i love those girls, and i love being around track meets cuz i feel useful and appreciated and all kinds of good. amanda and this pole vaulting guy gave me a flyer for an open meet at the end of june...wouldn't that be fun? I wonder if i could get people to do it with me...i'd love to be in an actual track meet.
i finally got to see part of 20/20 today (thanks erin!). funny how into that show we used to be. i can't believe bdubs is leaving. sad. i ALSO got to christen my new bathing suit (which is remarkably cute for how comfy and functional it is) in erin's hot tub. i think it contributed to my tiredness from being in the sun all day, though. but worth it i think. i love the hot tub.
it freaks me out that my parents are getting (or thinking about getting) old.
i'm tired. i feel like i should go out and run now (though obviously it's the middle of the night) to start training if i want to do this meet. should i do the mile, or the 5k? i'm theoretically better at the 5000, especially with no speedwork in a while, but i've never raced the distance before, especially not on a track. i'll probably go with that, though, if i do it. man, that would be fun.
8:32 PM
i talked to merry and she's coming to jon's. SO EXCITED. i was crazy-excited for this reunion. then i heard that sideshow might show up, and i got MAD CRAZY EXCITEDER and then i heard that MERRY is coming, and i got MAD WICKED CRAZY INSANE EXCITEDEST. in case you can't tell, i'm really excited.
i also talked to ken, and i think that's all finally settled and normalized and *sigh of relief* good to have clarity and decisiveness, especially now that he has a solid reason to act on what he says. i also feel like this was clearer than when we sort-of-talked before scott's, so more all-around goodness.
i also think people are funny when they im you and obviously have some specific or semi-specific business to take care of with you, but don't want to get straight to it. every once in a while (really i almost never do this, though i sometimes consider it) i can see clearly where their plan is going, and i like to sidetrack it. then they have to be all *wriggle, wriggle, segue back to whatever i need to be talking about to get my agenda brought up in a seemingly natural way* and i laugh. actually that never happens except in my mind. if i see where people are going i try to be nice and play along. sometimes, though, i don't notice that i'm being led somewhere until i accidentally throw of the plan, and then the person's attempts to pull me back make the whole thing clear. that DOES make me laugh. i guess that shows that it doesnt do to be only kinda subtle. either do it well enough that i get where you're leading me, or do it poorly enough that i notice what you're getting at and can help you along. silly people. you amuse me. of course im sure i do this too...
i also proposed some visit days to brian. i really wanna go up there
i also cried a few times today. almost cried in cvs.
i also heard that my veganessentials.com order has been shipped. *rejoices* i hope the marshmallows are good. *gasp*!!! if only i weren't missing encampment!!!!!! I COULD'VE HAD A REAL, FIRE-TOASTED SMORE!!!!! *deep breath* it's okay. there will be other encampments. (actually there will only be like two other encampments. damn, my westport-based life is ending quickly. one more year of girl scouts. damn. have i really been doing this for 11 years? only things i've really had longer than girl scouts are...my family, priya, some of my animals...my yellow blanket, that pillowcase i love, and my night light... damn. was i even the same person in first grade that i am now? was i even a person at all?)
i also talked to brooke a little bit, and apparently she's been thinking about some of the things i've been thinking about. that was...sad, but comforting?
i also went to the track meet. we lost to ridgefield, but beat trumbull :( ahh well. several people had amazing races. qualifying meet tomorrow, which i'll be attending. i'm excited to see some more people get really nice times.
the ant man is also coming tomorrow(really, this time(i hope (or do i?))), and (of course) i haven't cleaned. i should try to be a little bit less of a loser.
i also missed yoga today. ah well. track meets are more fun, anyway. it was funny to see how everything deteriorated with laddie gone. i can't BELIEVE we actually ran the first heat with a set of hurdles missing. that was INSANE. but really funny. of course, i wasn't the one surprised in the middle of my race...heheh. :D
1:40 AM
Donnerstag, Mai 20, 2004
been feeling unusual today. remarkably chill, i guess...just like things that normally bother or worry or intimidate or short-circuit me haven't been able to do their harm. and i didn't scratch my bug bite at all today. i am so good at life.
hung out with allison today, and it was really good to see her, as it's been a while. she and mrs. bloom both liked my striped pants. they also had the graham cracker sticks that i've recently gotten into.
i hope the track meet goes well tomorrow. postponing it two days in a row is a bit much. i feel bad for all the girls who've done three premeets in a row now. at least they'll be fresh...so will ridgefield, though. i wish i were running. not that i'd be able to score in a two mile at this meet, but still. i wish i could be a more real part of the excitement.
being 'on vacation' may be part of what's making me feel so balanced and stuff today. i think i really needed it, and i think i'm making good use of it. i've recently started to notice how much BETTER i feel from being so well-rested. it's more of a difference than i expected.
2:14 AM
Mittwoch, Mai 19, 2004
Dude, I just went BUCK NUTTY all over veganessentials.com. I got belated birthdayish presents for a couple of people (ridiculously belated, actually) and then spent my allowance on FOOD and a couple of pins and a cute cute shirt (which is also the bday present) that says 'vegetarianism is for lovers' and, even better, UNDERWEAR bearing the same message. you know (or perhaps you don't) how i feel about underwear, especially ADORABLE underwear with cute little messages on it. if you're excited by the thought of me taking down my pants far enough to show you my message undies then GET EXCITED. cuz it will be happening in the near future. (wow i'm actually this excited about underwear. but i've been wanting this particular underwear for quite some time. and anyway, I LIKE IT. yes.) the food includes jello, marshmallows, ricemilk chocolate, a donut, unflavored vegan gelatin (in case i want to use it for some baking project in the future), and cake mix. *sigh* the things i'd thought never to have again. i shall still have to evaluate them, but i'm optimistic. now if only i had vegan candy corn...*sigh*
1:10 AM
Dienstag, Mai 18, 2004
being up alone in the middle of the night makes me miss the boys so much. i kind of just realized that they won't be coming home this summer. i guess they really don't live here anymore. sad. as attatched as i am to mom, especially, i sometimes feel like i'm more tied to bono and patrick than to the parents, which puts them pretty much at the top of my list of important-to-me people...i feel like we always settled back into pretty near historical sibling normalcy during the summers, when we were all home, and it looks like that's never ever going to happen again. i didn't realize that as of last summer, even though patrick had said he'd probably be elsewhere by now. i didn't entirely believe him, as he'd said the same thing the previous year. i definitely didnt think they'd BOTH be gone. and now i'm sad and lonely. i was barely ever lonely before brian left for grinnell...ocasionally if i was in a new place, or randomly when i was out somewhere with people (but not talking to them?), when i('d) get this feeling of wrongness, but never just sitting up at night being too alone. if anything, i craved aloneness. i love having the house to myself during the day, but i don't like this.
*shrug* basically i miss my brothers. i like them and think about them way too much, and i don't like being separated from them.
high as my hopes are for college, this is a large part of why i'm terrified of going. how in hell am i supposed to deal with and celebrate life with NONE of the people who support me, who understand and appreciate so much about me, whose senses of humor i understand, and in terms of whom i find ways to understand myself. heehee, i also sometimes think i don't want other people to have my friends, cuz they couldn't love them as much as i do...like some of the ridiculous and wonderful things they do could never be appreciated as well by outsiders as by me, like no one will be quite worthy of them. but that, at least is silly.
3:30-5:30 am is the strangest part of the day.
3:13 AM
Samstag, Mai 15, 2004
oh by the way...
i am just as obsessed with and troubled by food and eating and weight as i was in eigth grade, if not more so, and you guys don't fucking care because i fit into the convenient mental mold of my physical self that you've had of me since the beginning of time. and in the past year or so it seems everyone has suddenly decided to start dieting and shit and sometimes i just want to scream in all of your faces because you wouldn't fucking let me be the size you all are NOW and you're trying to lose weight/tone up/whatever, but if i try (or tried. i realize this all is affected by growing up) to change my physical appearance all of a sudden everyone is AFRAID for me. well the honest truth is i was never abnormally or unhealthily thin (made sure of that) and i never even ate in a nutritionally unbalanced way. it just makes me feel so angry that it's okay for you all to be little and thin and westport-sized and it's not okay for me...about a year after all of that i accepted your concern as worrying about my emotional state and about the slight eating-disorder-ish-ness of some of my behaviors (although i realize now that you don't really know what most or any of those are or were...except perhaps in a few instances that i told you) but i really dont think so anymore, even if that was your intention. BECAUSE IM JUST AS MESSED UP NOW AS I EVER WAS (which isn't that unbelievably messed up, my point is just that the only thing that's changed in this area is my physical appearanc). i dont know. it just bothers me that no one seems worried now, because if its not a problem anymore then it wasn't a problem to begin with. and...i dont know. i'm also fucking sick of everyone obsessing about her body. which is hypocritcal, i know...actually i do honestly think i am more sane about my body than are most/a lot of girls our age, and even of my friends. i like and respect my body rather a lot. i'm also unbelievably sick of people complaining that they've eaten too much at any event or whatever. if you had any IDEA of some of the things i've done...i am also fucking sick of my dad and his food-related everything. grrr. must try to resign myself to the fact that food is just fundamentally different for me than it is for other people. but whatevs. sorry to yell at you like this, and here, but it just randomly came back to my mind and it made/makes me so insanesly angry. yeah. ich liebe euch/i love y'all with all my heart
12:40 PM
Donnerstag, Mai 13, 2004
i'm feeling all depressedlike. i also don't like the new layout of blogger. i guess i resist change in all things.
the summeriness of the weather is making our house be it's nifty, cold-downstairs-and-hot-upstairs self, which is fun.
I don't want my parents to sell this house once I'm no longer living at home. I think I'm more attatched to it than anyone else because I don't REALLY remember living anywhere else. I kind of think it's weird that people buy and sell houses at all. This house is so thouroughly OURS, and so thouroughly my home, but it's been just as saturated with the stuff and memories and attatchments of two other families before mine. I don't understand that. It seems like...wearing second-hand underwear or something...or buying an engagment or wedding ring off of a divorcing couple or a widower.
2:02 AM
Dienstag, Mai 11, 2004
my goodwill finds of yesterday(?) are stil as exciting as they were when i bought them, which is a good sign. i really enjoy the striped pants. and my manicure is holding up remarkably well. and mommy agreed to pay for my slight out-of-control barnes and noble shopping spree, as long as i read all the books, so i'm not in weeks of allowance debt, AND i have exciting and keepable, page foldable, write inable, spine crackable books! i've been trying to train myself to read more like i did when i was little...actually i've been trying to train myself to do lots of things more like i did when i was little. i was definitely a lot more intelligent and capable and persistent and confident and curious and happy in early childhood, and i want some of that back.
11:19 PM
oh by the way, heather, i am just as backward and foolish as you are and there's nothing we can do about it as far as i can tell.
i also do everything that drives me crazy when done by other people
i also really like moves. like, moves in the field, that more technical part of skating that i take the tests in sometimes, yes? i love moves. i had such a good time doing my fivestep and forward and backward power crosses, and even threes to some extent. power pulls still meh but no worries. i really like moves. i wanna pass pre-juv., but i might miss it :P 'strue, though. It's fun to learn a new set of moves, but it'll be a while before i'm doing the juvenile test with any kind of speed or proficiency, so they'll be more work and less fun. still an exciting thought though.
2:03 AM
argh i'm emotionally tired. getting caught up in all the time and energy i've wasted in my life and trying to make a plan for the nearish future that'll start to make me feel like i'm making up for all that...and being foiled by the annoying fairfield schedule and by my other various commitments and by uncertainty and by daddy and by lack of appropriate and present advisors. feeling very alone, wanting to cry to somebody about things that dont seem to be part of reality for most of the people right around me now, feeling my self overwhelmingly compelled to do some things that i think would make other people happy/make other people think more highly of me, and trying to figure out if there's any part of me that's not just a reflection of somebody else. feeling like ive been largely dishonesst with a lot of people about myself and school and shit because it's easier than trying to explain myself or to win converts. kind of like veganism, maybe? only i dont think most people hold their meat-eating as dear as they hold their schooling. anyway, i'm wishing i could just be honest with people (wishing i had a quick and easy, or even any (?), way to explain myself to others, wishing that people would support.understand me more. and i'm so tired of not having guidance. and i feel like there are people who could/can be giving it to me i guess but the effort required to contact them and to formulate specific questions to ask them and whatnot is too much fof me right now...and i feel like there are people who'll provide practical advice and help and scheiz, but not really anyone to talk to about some of the ways i feel emotionally fucked up, especially because there's no one to understand school AND cty AND herefriends AND my family (which has all kinds of divisions within itself). and i do feel very damaged by school. like there are a lot of things about high school and about who i've been in and for high school (and probably middle and/or elementary school as well, but its harder to analyze that) that are like vicious diseases that i can't get rid of even now that i've noticed them. and i also totally haven't made any kind of peace with cty, and it seems ridiculous to suggest that as a cause of this whole year of depressive-y-ness, but it feels that way. i always expected to be magically ready to leave (actually that's not true; i expected to have prepared myself to that point), or at least to have come to understand it in a happy-sad kind of way that could deal, but it never happened. and then i expected to gradually feel better over time, but that hasn't happened at all yet. i put away the cannon when i left my week-or-two of post-03.1 mourning/whatever because it wasn't helping, and i figured having a good violent cry and then trying to think about other things would help, but apparently it hasn't--now all i ahve is this little boxed off ball of hurt and confusion and loss and joy that i'm not experiencing becuase...why? becuase i don't have time for it? don't have energy? don't know how long it'd take to get it partitioned away again if it didn't diffuse when i let it out? i dunno. but i haven't been abe to listen to any cannon songs since then really, but last week mom said she had heard some lyric to some song she recognized through me somewhere, and it turned out to be forever young and she asked me how it went and i just sang the whole song for her without feeling anything. and that's not what i want. i want my songs and my memories back, to be able to think about them, sing them, hear them, but i don't want this kind of disconnection, total supression of emotion and memory and such...i want to be able to feel all that again without the insane, violent, breath-snatching feeling of loss and...desperation?
meh. theres more to say, but i'm, again, to emotionally tired.
sorry about not being clear or editing or writing in sentences or anything.
1:06 AM
Samstag, Mai 08, 2004
prom tonight. erin and i are getting manicure/pedicures and then going out to eat...somewhere. i still haven't decided about dresses, either. if i wear the brown one maybe i'll wear the polka dots to aunt margaret's play tomorrow. I'm a little disappointed about not joining up with a bigger group because of pictures, but it's not the biggest deal. maybe i'll buy a disposable camera and take some at the door/during the night. hmmmm. 'twould be minorly annoying. wasever. OH BY THE WAY we sat with zoltan toman, this random retired german teacher at the banquet last night and it was a little weird but he was nice and funny and whatnot (he kept telling ridiculous made-up stories about frau getting drunk, going crazy, dancing wildly in discotechs ("sie war wirklich ein Swinger"), being a spy, etc.), and then the award i got was in his name and that was kinda funny, and the BOOK they got me as a presenty thing was called STRICKEN which is of course deutsch for KNITTING. so cool. it was really incredibly nice of frau doctor goldfield to get her mom to bring back personalized books for us (she remembered the knitting from my interview).
sometimes there are things that i think are important for me to do, but i'm not sure how to go about them.
2:06 PM
Freitag, Mai 07, 2004
my body will never be perfect.
i will never run a five minute mile
my tummy will never be flat
my thighs will never have perfect straight almost-parallel sides like pictures of models' thighs do
the left side of my smile will never work right
my nose will never lose its little joe-tory bump
i will probably never do a pullup.
my red/rough cheeks will never leave me
the few stray eyebrow hairs that piss me off will never grow where i want them to
i will never sit comfortably with my knees toghether/my hips closed
my fingernails will never be strong enough to grow long enough to get a real french manicure
i will never have a pear-shaped body (i.e. 'itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face')
my breasts will never be cleavage-ready like heather's--in fact, they'll only get worse over time
my feet will never be small and cute, or even normal-sized
i'll never be 5' 6"
i'll never get a real tan except through accidental blistering sunburn
my stretch marks will never fade all the way invisibility.
my hair will never be anything but straight, but will never quite be perfect, caroline straight.
my hips, knees, and feet will never learn to align themselves properly without help, and so i will probably never have a year of training without a stress injury.
i will never be able to function regularly on five or six hours of sleep a night
i will never have good enough reaction time to reliably time sprints.
i will probably never be able to hurdle effectively or to do a real split jump.
i will probably never touch my foot or feet to my head
yeah. my body will never be perfect, and neither will yours...except to the extent that they already are. that was strangely invigorating; you should try it...just mentally scan your physical self and think of everything that disappoints or bothers you, and then decide what's beyond your control. it feels like a slight release...like saying "i'm not responsible for ________ anymore," like i set out to complain about myself/my image of the ideal body, but in admitting/stating that these things will absolutely never change, i free myself from worrying about them...or like i can redefine a personal concept of perfection that's based in reality. i dunno. silly that just saying stuff i definitely have always/already known feels so good but it does.
12:02 AM
Donnerstag, Mai 06, 2004
just gave erin the contract and money, so it looks like i'm going to prom! now to find pre-prom plans, and a dress. ooh, speaking of dresses what shall i wear to the deutsch banquet, which is making me unable to dress shop with erin (yes the day before prom. silly us)? *sigh* the deep and troubling problems of my tortured existence.
oh and i took two ap tests this week. both english. they weren't that unpleasant, though i have no idea how i actually did. i try not to think about it as i'm not finding out until july anyway
and on that note i still want to know how harry and co. did on their OWLs. i loved the school and standardized testing parts of book five so much. not only is voldemort coming back into power, but you STILL have to deal with the wizarding equivalent of getting into college. *grin/sigh* yeah, that was my favorite aspect of that book.
10:42 PM
Dienstag, Mai 04, 2004
I want to race.
I want a vacation from mom and dad and here.
10:35 PM
Samstag, Mai 01, 2004
so cara had a reference to the 'belief-o-matic' quiz in her profile some time ago, and i went to explore. i took it twice: first i put myself in a catholic frame of mind, not agreeing with everything the church says, and not emphasizing everything that the church would probably emphasize if it took the quiz, but going with the more catholic answer when in doubt; the second time i pretty much disregarded my religious training (at least as much as i'm conscious of it) and based only on what seems intuitively obvious to me about life and divinity and all that (this means that concepts (like jesus) that are intuitively neither true nor false to me, that would/will need more exploration, get thrown out). basically round one was where i was as of last year or so, and round two was where i think i'd be if i'd been raised in a nonreligious family. my actual beliefs are probably somewhere in between. anyway, the results...
Catholic-er Maggie got:
1. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (80%)
3. Orthodox Quaker (77%)
4. Eastern Orthodox (77%)
5. Roman Catholic (77%)
6. Unitarian Universalism (76%)
7. Seventh Day Adventist (76%)
8. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (72%)
9. Hinduism (65%)
10. Bah?'? Faith (60%)
11. Orthodox Judaism (55%)
12. Reform Judaism (54%)
13. Mahayana Buddhism (51%)
14. Islam (48%)
15. Sikhism (47%)
16. Jainism (45%)
17. Theravada Buddhism (44%)
18. New Age (43%)
19. Secular Humanism (43%)
20. Neo-Pagan (41%)
21. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (39%)
22. Nontheist (35%)
23. Jehovah's Witness (33%)
24. New Thought (31%)
25. Taoism (30%)
26. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (28%)
27. Scientology (26%)
religion-less maggie got:
1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (96%)
3. Bah?'? Faith (82%)
4. Reform Judaism (80%)
5. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (77%)
6. Neo-Pagan (75%)
7. Mahayana Buddhism (74%)
8. Hinduism (74%)
9. Jainism (72%)
10. New Age (71%)
11. Orthodox Judaism (67%)
12. Sikhism (66%)
13. New Thought (64%)
14. Islam (63%)
15. Scientology (59%)
16. Theravada Buddhism (56%)
17. Secular Humanism (53%)
18. Orthodox Quaker (50%)
19. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (44%)
20. Taoism (44%)
21. Nontheist (38%)
22. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (35%)
23. Seventh Day Adventist (35%)
24. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (29%)
25. Eastern Orthodox (25%)
26. Roman Catholic (25%)
27. Jehovah's Witness (23%)
so...ought i to become a liberal quaker? in barnes and noble the other day i bought a book that argues that paul falsely invented christianity, and one called 'the courage to be catholic' or some such...have yet to read them. maybe they'll give me some more to think about (just what i need!)
1:26 PM
grrrr. cursed slow reaction time. what do i do when something that was said to me last night finally sinks in and makes me really uncomfortable? like, i know what i could have said last night to try to fix it, but now it would be really weird to bring up some little comment someone made and address it as this big issue...that's how it kind of feels, though. argh argh argh. *starts to cry*
9:35 AM
ever have a random day/night/hour/moment when you feel really unusually pretty? i'm having a pretty moment, and it's ffun. :D silly, but much much fun.
2:42 AM
|
|
| |
|
|
|
